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The Proust Questionnaire9/5/2019 __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Perfect Happiness for me is sustainability. I don’t need to be rich. I just want to be able to effectively and comfortably provide for myself and my family. __2.__What is your greatest fear? I’m afraid that I will lose the people that mean the most to me. I used to have a large circle of friends that I cared for and felt I could trust but as time went by it has shrunk for one reason or another. I don’t think I could afford to lose anyone else. __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I don’t follow my own advice. I give my friends sound advice but don’t follow it myself so I tend to be somewhat self-destructive. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? Dishonesty. I’m a very loyal and honest person and I expect the same thing from the people around me. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? My best friend Aadam. He’s nothing like me but he’s my ride or die. I’ve lost a lot of people and had many others cycle in and out of my life. But never him. He is as loyal to me as I am to him. He’s also flawed. He doesn’t try to be anything other than who he is and I respect him for that. He doesn’t try to be perfect. What you see is what you get. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? My many tattoos. I have bills to pay and I struggle to pay them but every couple of months I still get more tattoos. I’m not saying it’s responsible or Irresponsible. I’m good with my money. I work hard and I spend wisely. Everyone has at least one thing that they do just to get by that might not necessarily be beneficial to the “grind”. __7.__What is your current state of mind? Tired but focused. When i’m struggling to get myself motivated I think of one analogy for every necessary struggle. If you have a gun to your head and you have to eat shit, are you going to nibble and take little bites or are you going to bite, chew, swallow, and repeat? In my case it’s the latter. I think of this and apply it to my life and my goals. __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Obedience. I think there is a time and place for obedience but it has become less of a virtue and more of an expectation. __9.__On what occasion do you lie? When the cops ask me to snitch on my friends, when someone is in danger and a lie could help them walk away safely, when someone you love needs your support and you have to tell them everything will get better even though that’s not how you feel. __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. I know most people can’t tell im overweight because I’m tall but I can tell every time I look in the mirror. __11.__Which living person do you most despise? Donald Fucking Trump __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? Friend to friend: Loyalty. __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Romantically: Empathy. Friend to friend: Loyalty. __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Fuck. I wanna die. Bet. Ard. Yall. Darlin. You’re square. Shit. (a wide range of screeching noises) __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? My ex girlfriend Frankie. Loathe would be the best term I could use to describe my feelings for her but there is still a part of me that loves her. I know i sound cliche but nostalgia has tricked my brain into romanticizing the good moments we had. The only reason she is the greatest love I’ve experienced is because shes still lurking in my fucking head. __16.__When and where were you happiest? I was 16 years old, sitting on the floor of this abandoned house that my friends and I had learned to call a second home. My friend’s Kate, Aadam, Will, Navid, and I were smoking weed and all singing along to Hollywood Undeads’ “Everywhere I Go”. I stood up and started doing graffiti on the wall of the house with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. I paused and turned around to look at my friends laughing and enjoying each other’s company. I had brought them all together over the years and it felt good to see them all getting along in a group the way I got along with them individually. I realized in that moment that is now frozen in time among my memories, that there is nowhere I would ever rather be. That place and those people are something I refer to fondly as Mintwood. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? A photographic memory. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would lose 40 pounds. I need to be healthier. __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? When I became an AGM at 19. I was working for a company called SNAP Custom Pizza and Salads.Most employees don’t last more than 3 months at SNAP. The place is a revolving door. I started working there as an associate when I was 18 and after a year I had been promoted twice to the position of Senior Shift Supervisor. During that time I helped mold the staff at my store into a well oiled machine and rehabilitated a failing store. At my home store, we were a team who respected each other’s individual positions. Having that job helped me realize that with hard work and respect for my peers, I could take something broken and chaotic and create something great. I treated the employees with respect and set an expectation for the job. It didn’t matter if they liked me. It only mattered if the job was completed efficiently enough that everyone was carrying the same load. I leveled the playing field and while other managers made it clear that they expected the worst from an employee based off of their past performance and bias, I expected the best in those employees because I believe that anyone __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? I could only see myself coming back as my grandchild. My grandfather passed away before I was born and everybody in my life who had known my grandfather says my personality is just like his. That scenario is the closest thing to my reality. __21.__Where would you most like to live? If I had the money, I would buy the Mintwood property, fix it up, and live there for the rest of my life. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? My Mintwood Original Kutte. It represents so much more than I can describe. It’s the next closest thing to wearing my heart on my sleeve apart from my 1519 tattoo. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Loneliness __24.__What is your favorite occupation? Political activist/ campaign manager. __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? My undying loyalty to the people I care about. __26.__What do you most value in your friends? Loyalty and honesty. Although I believe that honesty and loyalty go hand in hand because you can’t have one without the other. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? J.K. Rowling, Zackary Brewer, Rick Riordan, Suzanne Collins, etc. __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? John Bender if we are talking about movies. Katniss Everdeen if we are talking about books. Sam Seaborn if we are talking about T.V. __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? Siddhartha Gautama __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? Bernie Sanders, Barack Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Jimmy Sullivan, etc. __31.__What are your favorite names? Anthony, Benito, Abigail, Declan, etc. __32.__What is it that you most dislike? I hate bigotry, sexism, racism, Homophobia, etc. __33.__What is your greatest regret? I regret allowing my own behavior to push certain people out of my life. __34.__How would you like to die? I’d like to stand on a cliff in great falls park, Virginia, have one last cigarette, one last joint, and step over the edge at sunset because I’ve rarely seen a better sight than great falls park at sunset. __35.__What is your motto? Don’t be a snitch, Don’t drink, Don’t put your dick in crazy, and Don’t turn your back on family.
3 Comments
Jaime
9/12/2019 06:59:50 am
I think its super cool how we both want a photographic memory
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mack
9/12/2019 07:01:34 am
You have to have good people around you to make it in this world.
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9/12/2019 07:02:36 am
I really enjoyed your blob I see we had some things in common. It was being overweight and wanting to lose weight, the funny thing is I also have a goal to lose 40 lbs. Again your blog was truthful and I enjoyed how honest and opened you were.
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